today's daily reading included a major arcana card i haven't yet worked with, but have been wanting to tackle for some time: the moon, number thirteen.
as a lifelong insomniac, i've always had a complicated relationship with nighttime. for so many the darkness brings release, a wild freedom that only comes when the pressures and expectations of the day are shed. under the light of the moon, we're allowed to be whoever we are, to give in to whatever desires we suppress during the harsh, unforgiving light of day.
but as someone that struggles to sleep, nighttime brings its own complicated expectations. what should be a time of rest, of peace, of soothing dreams is instead a stressful, exhausting struggle to simply let go of consciousness. sleep should be the easiest thing in the world, but for me, it is something i have to work and struggle to find.
but the nighttime itself? that's something fierce and untamed, something undefinable. there's a delicious sense of space, a dissolving of borders, that allows us to give in to the true depths of our being. sitting in the darkness, feeling the moonlight on my skin - that can feel like the most honest place i know.
the moon is a card of beautiful mystery, and its interpretations are varied and complex. some readers see this card as a sign of madness, delusions, being under the power of something greater. the loss of control, the ties of bondage, the demons of addiction can all be found in this card. the power of the moon is formidable, and can drive us to the very edges of sanity - or even push us over.
others see it as an invitation to the mystical, encouraging us to leave behind reality, step out of our daytime comfort zones, and explore this beautiful unknown world that's revealed by the moonlight. letting go of the sunshine-drenched expectations and allowing ourselves to give in, to see things differently, can spark such creativity and imagination.
for me, i see a lot of potential in a bit of madness. surrendering to that wild abandon, losing ones self for a time in creative passion and finding a muse can be just the thing to help us feel more grounded and whole during time under the sun, when we have to be the most put-together versions of ourselves. some of my best writing, my deepest thinking, my most honest conversations (with others and with myself) have come from late nights under a crescent moon. there's something beautiful and magical in wandering the darkness for a spell, letting the pale light of the moon change our perspective on familiar surroundings. and while these explorations can sometimes reveal fears and anxieties we wish we hadn't discovered, they can also uncover hidden dreams and desires, and show us ways to be less afraid.