something new

the last few months have been intense, hectic, and deeply stressful. with so much going on for me and for my partner, the last thing i expected was to find a full time position - but after stumbling into a brand new start-up, poised to launch this week, i've accepted a new job, and i start tomorrow. i'm excited, terrified, unsure, hoping i live up to the high expectations i can already sense. i don't often use celtic cross, having a strong preference for short, simple spreads. but tomorrow feels like the beginning of a new chapter, and i'm filled with anticipation. i'm craving guidance, insight, advice.

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the present: maiden of wands. full of passion, energy, and ambition, the maiden of fire is brimming with potential and anticipation. she reflects my current state perfectly, full of creative energy and a desire to succeed. i'm desperate to be valuable and valued, hoping that taking this opportunity is a risk that will pay off.

the challenge: the hierophant. i worry about following the rules, fitting into structure, not knowing what i'm "supposed" to do. freelance positions have always worked well for me because i can make my own way, so one of my biggest fears about this job is being too unconventional. my challenge is in believing in my ability to make my own structure.

the past: wheel of fortune. i've had both major success and huge failures in my last full time job. at times it felt like i was in control, crushing it, an essential member of the team - but that slowly changed until i was making mistakes, knew i wasn't fitting in, couldn't pull my weight. i know both paths are a possibility, but i have control over my actions and my work.

the future: two of cups. what a lovely card for the future! the two of cups is often about two people coming together, but it can also represent self-love, and that's what i see here - a new beginning, a fresh connection, a strong passion. there's a sense of understanding and balance in this card that i'm really craving in this new job.

above: three of swords. i've been burned by jobs and clients before, and i'm very consciously bringing that fear with me. but the three of swords isn't just about heartbreak and betrayal - it's also about finding our own strength, overcoming pain, seeing the lesson. i need to be cautious about how much of myself i give to this new company, but i also can't bring too much of my past pain forward.

below: eight of pentacles. this is a card of craftsmanship, hard work, focus, dedication. i'm proud of how hard i've worked to get to this point, but i know i still have much more to learn. seeing this card in this position gives me hope that the passion and practice i've channeled to get here will continue to serve me moving forward, and that i will be able to work hard and find my groove.

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advice: knight of pentacles. this knight moves methodically, carefully, with a set goal in mind. sometimes he can become a little obsessive, a little set in his ways, but his strength is in his ability to continue moving forward at an even pace. i need to not get too ahead of myself, not worry about what may happen next month or next year, but rather just keep putting one foot in front of the other, taking things day by day. by staying calm, being responsible for my work, and enjoying slow progress, i can get the most out of this position and this team.

external influences: the emperor. i've been hired by a passionate, high-energy man, and it's definitely possible that he's an emperor. while he wants to make his own way and help our team develop their own processes and strengths, i can definitely see the structure, dedication, and leadership that the emperor so often channels. i want to trust that my new boss will take care of me, help me to thrive, and give me the structure and resources in order to do so.

hopes/fears: king of swords. i worry about fitting in with the current team, being valuable, coming across as talented and intelligent, so the king of swords fits beautifully into this position. i really crave acceptance and teamwork, and while the king of swords is brilliant and fair-minded, he can also be seen as cold, closed-off, unwilling to connect. i want others to trust my opinion and my decisions, but i don't want to be removed or make anyone uncomfortable.

outcome: four of pentacles. firm boundaries, protecting resources, control. while there's success here, the four of pentacles is about holding back, being unwilling to share parts of ourselves - whether they're resources, talents, or emotions. in this position, this card indicates to me that while i may find financial success, i'll be tempting to hold back parts of myself in other ways - i may not make close friends, may not share parts of myself. this is an appropriate warning, as i often take a long time to warm up to others and have struggled to connect with coworkers. but seeing it here, with so many others positive cards, gives me hope that this is something i can work towards changing. it may not happen right away, but if i work to be open and generous with myself and my time, perhaps i won't be so closed off in the long run.

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i found this spread incredibly helpful, and really reflective of where i am now and where i want to be going. it gives me a lot of hope for tomorrow and the rest of my first week!

do you ever read larger spreads like the celtic cross? do you disagree with any of my interpretations? i'd love to hear from you in the comments!