full moon in capricorn & lunar eclipse

with this year’s cancer season feeling especially intense, adding multiple eclipses and mercury retrograde has made the last few weeks heavy, sensitive, and emotional. i’m wrestling through choices and possibilities, thinking through my broader goals and personal ambitions, and it feels like a lot. and yet today’s full moon in capricorn gives us a much-needed reprieve from so much water, bringing in grounded, ambitious, focused earth to help us find our way into fiery leo season.

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eclipses make everything more intense, more amplified, more powerful - but they can also feel a bit chaotic, shifting energy in a way that feels unexpected even when we know it’s coming. the new moon a few weeks ago was also anchored by an eclipse, making this moon cycle a particularly potent and powerful one. and as we prepare to move from cancer’s cardinal water into leo’s fixed fire next week, we have a chance to transform, releasing any lingering fear or doubt or frustration and instead finding movement, joy, and adventure. and while my cards from earlier this month encouraged me to dive deep internally, and to let my inner magic guide my outer passions, today’s full moon is more centered on what i can release.

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what is this full moon asking me to celebrate? three of cups. while reflection and inner wisdom feel like intensely personal, private explorations, i’m still finding new and powerful ways to connect to the people i care about. i’m taking more risks, allowing people to see more of my vulnerabilities and emotions, and it’s allowing me to build richer connections. the chosen family that i’ve found within tarot and the queer community is one that is strengthening and uplifting me, encouraging me to be my true self and celebrate who i am. this full moon asks me to honor that work, and to enjoy the relationships i’ve found.

what is this eclipse asking me to release? the fountain. release the illusion of control, the need to explain or understand or rationalize everything, and instead allow some situations or connections or conflicts to just be. i’m someone that loves to find meaning in things, to tell stories and explore narratives and connect events and people and emotions in tangled, messy, beautiful ways - but sometimes that can get in the way of simply allowing magic to happen, and enjoying the sensation of being small in a vast, mysterious world. this full moon encourages me to release the expectation that i will see it all, and instead to enjoy not knowing.

where can i be more open or willing to explore? the hierophant. a card that came up just a few days ago, this archetype explores the connections between the physical and spiritual, the knowledge of greater powers, the connections to past, present, and future. i’ve been wrestling with this for years, working to understand my conservative religious upbringing and my current use of tarot and spells, but there’s endless trails to follow and paths to discover. this is an important piece of my history, and an essential aspect to keep exploring.

where could i use more structure or purpose? ace of cups. emotions and intuition are things i rarely allow much structure, but letting new journeys or connections follow more specific boundaries or guidelines could help me protect myself in important ways. rather than throwing myself into any new relationship, drowning in sensitive feelings, or pushing past spiritual discoveries, it may help me to create more structure in these explorations. my emotions and responses aren’t random, and finding the patterns that my heart constantly follows could allow me more control over how i respond and act in certain situations.

how does this connect to my progress so far this year? five of cups. it’s been an intensely challenging year, with multiple deaths in the family, several cross-country moves, and shifting career and relationship expectations. i have absolutely experienced loss, and haven’t always had the necessarily time to grieve and reflect on this pain before having to move into the next phase. and yet, there are still cups that are whole and filled, waiting patiently for attention - and i know that i still have people that care about me, creativity to share, ambitions to pursue.

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the cards are spot on, urging me to stay connected with my community while exploring richer spiritual and emotional paths within, and honoring how much i’ve been through this year. healing is rarely linear, and this is a time for quiet rest, compassion for the self, and finding hope for the future. i can celebrate my progress while also respecting the challenges of my journey.

have a beautiful full moon, and remember to take plenty of space and rest today - these are intense and difficult energies to move through. and if you use my spread, please feel free to tag me so that i can see your readings!

wisdom of the eclipse

new moon energy is an intensely charged time - full of potential, a chance to start fresh, an opportunity to set new goals and intentions. and combined with the incredible energy from today's solar eclipse, there couldn't be a better time for a tarot spread centered around reflection, awareness, and finding direction.

1. where you stand

IMG_0299the son of swords grips the blade of his sword as he hones in on his target. everything in him is focused, utterly fixated on his destination. wings flapping, eyes forward, sword at the ready - he is completely determined, and will let nothing get in his way. as with all of the sons, their understanding of the suit is growing, and can go many ways. is his single-minded pursuit of his goal, his focus on the truth, something that makes him strong? or is he too obsessive, unwilling to see any other perspective?

i don't feel this strong or sure about anything at the moment, except perhaps that i'm longing to channel my energy into something. i've been toying with new creative pursuits, itching to start a new project, eager to find something i can pour my fire into. and while this son is several steps past where i feel i am, there's something to his passionate intensity, his fearless drive, his complete willingness to throw his entire self into this purpose, that resonates. i may not be sure where i want to go, but i do know that i want to put my whole self into something that matters to me.

2. something to leave behindIMG_0334

the card that i cannot seem to shake, the three of cups represents companionship, love, friendship, and honesty. this card has been stalking me relentlessly for the past few months, and has come to mean something very different - feelings of isolation and being misunderstood, being alone or left out, wanting something that no longer exists. but in this context, i feel that this card is asking me to leave behind not only these feelings, but also this inherent craving for approval, for support, for praise and love and inclusiveness. it's important to have people around us that give us that unconditional love and support, that encourage us to be better, that strengthen us and help us heal. but with that comes temptation, even a desire to lean too heavily on those that we love, rather than growing and learning on our own. having a strong community is a beautiful thing, but if we come to rely on it too heavily, we can do ourselves a disservice. sometimes we have to leave the pack, strike out alone, set our own course. i have to rely on my own independence, my own strength, and listen to what my heart is craving.

3. something to receive

IMG_0293a card of hope, healing, and moving forward, the six of swords feels like a gift. i've been so discouraged, felt so alone, wondered what my purpose is and how to escape this feeling of restless sadness. this card doesn't speak to all problems magically disappearing, or leaving everything behind, but instead seems to offer shelter from the storm, a chance to dry off, warm up, and set a new course.

hope and optimism aren't traits i'm particularly known for, and they aren't something i tend to seek - i take a rather bleak view of life, generally content to stay in the darkness. and while my gaze naturally drifts towards the pile of dark swords in the rain and the shadows, this card is really about that narrow, colorful rainbow overhead. i may not know where i'm going just yet, but that lovely ribbon of light is a potent reminder that no storm lasts forever, and that i have the power to leave this troubling sadness behind.

4. something to learnIMG_0369

the only major arcana card present, the star is a beautiful card of generosity, authenticity, peace, inspiration, and healing energy. it feels particularly poignant to see this hopeful image as the eclipse occurs overhead, a reminder of the powerful forces at work at the moment.

this card offers so much, and provides endless lessons, but one thing i'm grateful for is this card's association with creativity, passion, and feeding that inner fire. the star reminds us to connect with what truly drives us, encourages us to look deep within and see that which keeps us strong and centered, helps us find our way. beth calls this card the north star, and i love that strong image of a guiding light, an inner compass, a distant fire that helps us follow our own path. i may not always be good at pausing to look for this gentle beacon, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been there waiting for me, ready to help me find my way.

5. something to give

IMG_0333the two of cups, a card associated with love, balance, reciprocity, and strong connections. while it seems that many see this card as a symbol for romance and romantic love, it can also speak to connections with anything that is important to us: friendships, families, pets, art, music, nature, movement, or anything else that speaks to our soul, makes us feel alive and empowered and complete.

sometimes we're too depleted to give anything to anyone, but i find that when i'm running low on energy, on love, on encouragement, that i can often muster up some positivity for friends - even if i can't find it for myself. it's always astounding to me how reaching out to others, finding small ways to be kind, offering words of encouragement or support, tends to magnify and expand those feelings. those gestures feel small and sometimes seem like they can't possibly make a difference, but they often mean so much more than expected. and though right now it feels that i can't offer anything special, that doesn't mean i shouldn't try anyway.

6. your hopes and dreamsIMG_0324

an intriguing card for this position, the seven of pentacles also made an appearance in my last reading. it represents an important step in any journey - a pause, an evaluation, an opportunity to assess progress and make any necessary adjustments. this card is a reminder to look at how far you've come, and make sure that the path you're following will lead you to your ultimate goal.

this card often pops up in snarky, clever ways for me - it tends to appear when i'm unsure of my direction, seeking guidance, or looking to connect with someone or something that's challenging me. as i've written before, i don't have major lifelong goals, impressive dreams, ambitious plans for my future, so this card feels like a tease. but perhaps that's an indication that i have more ambitions than i think, that just because i haven't set big goals for myself in the past doesn't mean i don't have them, buried down deep. this card may be pushing me to step back, evaluate what i really want, and consider if there is something i want, something i should be pointing myself towards.

7. your secret special skill

ten-of-swordsthe ultimate victim, the the ten of swords is a card of despair, melodrama, hitting rock bottom, and giving up. there's no possible way to escape all of those swords - indeed, ten seems a bit excessive. this card always makes me laugh, for don't we all feel this way sometimes? like the whole weight of the world is bearing down, everyone and everything is against us, there's no escape from the insurmountable problems stacking up before us. it's a card of utter defeat, getting so in our heads that we're sure there is no solution, no escape, no recovery.

quite a secret special skill to round out my spread. and yet, these dark cards come up for me frequently when i do readings that include personal powers, strengths, and important characteristics. my scorpio nature and depression play strongly into everything, from the way i read cards to the way i approach decisions to the way i relate to others. it's difficult to see the ten of swords as a skill, since melodrama and painting myself as a victim is rarely helpful. but this card does make me snicker, and reminds me to stay aware of those dark tendencies in both myself and others, which can certainly be a skill. it's a lot harder to be aware of bad patterns when it's you that's falling into them, but i try to pay attention to how my mind operates and stay focused when i can feel myself slipping into dark, twisty places. i also have plenty of darkness in my mind and my past, and while nothing truly horrific has happened to me, i do think that those experiences have helped shape me, taught me how to survive and remove the swords that are impaling me.

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this spread was certainly a challenging one, encompassing everything from honest love and community to self-imposed isolation and leaving the past behind. there are images of hope here, encouragement, friendship, inspiration. but there are also warnings of obsession, loss, despair, getting lost in the darkness of our own minds. but there's so much wisdom here, particularly as i seek ways to let my own creativity shine, as i reflect on hidden dreams or secret aspirations, as i crave a passion project that lets me channel my energy and knowledge and inner fire.

i've been doing a lot of larger spreads lately, and am eager to get back to my single-card daily drawings for a bit so that i can unpack all of the wisdom here. but if you did any special spreads or readings for the eclipse, please share in the comments!