now that i've been studying tarot for almost six months, i feel that it's time to start reaching out a bit more to the tarot community. i've been journaling privately through my daily readings, larger spreads, and personal questions and challenges, and while i will probably continue to keep some things private, it seems important to me to begin reaching out to others as i continue to broaden my understanding of tarot, and the way it connects to my own spiritual growth.
i'm also planning to go through several resources, workshops, and courses, provided by blogs and books that i really like. this seems like a wonderful place to be able to record my thoughts and easily access previous posts.
to that end, i've started this simple blog. i don't expect many to read it, but i want to establish a small online presence so that those that i will hopefully meet in the future can learn more about me, and see the (very) slow progress i make as i continue to work with the cards.
in addition to my daily reading this morning, i also used a reader's spread from little red tarot, one of my very favorite blogs. i've done these types of readings before, but really enjoyed the simplicity and clarity of this spread.
i was quite surprised by several of the cards in this reading, but found them to work together beautifully, and in a way that really spoke to me. i'm sure i will continue to work through this spread over the next few days, finding additional insights and deeper meanings.
1. what is my most important characteristic?
five of swords. i may be very new to tarot, but even i know that a card that signifies self-destruction as an important personal characteristic is kind of a blow, especially first thing in the morning. i was hoping for a much more positive card, something encouraging and powerful - and instead i'm reminded that my lifelong insomnia, severe depression, and struggles to come to terms with my sexuality have had a lasting impact on my mental health and personal growth. this card relates to internal battles, hollow victories, challenges & suffering, and wondering what was actually won.
this isn't pretty. it isn't lovely. it isn't glorious or empowering or flattering - but it is me. my thoughts are often dark, difficult, and not at all constructive. i don't want this to completely define me, but it's certainly a major part of who i am.
2. what are my strengths as a reader?
mother of swords. one badass lady, full of sharp perceptions & keen observations. she's seen her share of suffering, and is experienced, wise, and sharp. not afraid to speak the truth, but does so with kindness & sensitivity.
after the five of swords, this feels clear and purposeful - my self-destructive tendencies may be a big part of who i am, but they can also help shape me into a strong, perceptive reader. pain and suffering can strengthen us, feelings of isolation can make us more sensitive to the needs of others, and mental illness can encourage us to persevere and grow.
i'm known for my advice and my ability to cut through bullshit, but i think my friends also know that it comes from a place of love and a desire to help. while this mother seems much more wise and experienced that i am, it's a very encouraging card to see, particularly in this position.
3. what are my limits as a reader?
the hierophant. beth, the creator of this spread, actually has the same card in this position - and given that i read her blog on a daily basis and refer to her words constantly for clarification and inspiration, this feels a bit reassuring.
considered a mentor or teacher figure, in this position it certainly seems like i could easily drift towards arrogance or false assurance in my readings. and given that the mother of swords is my strength card, it doesn't seem a far reach to see how she could get out of hand. i see this as a strong reminder to stay humble, focus on always continuing to learn, and remember to listen to those wiser and more experienced than i.
4. what key lesson can i learn on this journey?
ace of pentacles. this card was also my daily reading card today, but while i took more specific messages towards my career and financial state earlier, in this position i feel that it's simply reminding me that tarot is a journey, and i'm right at the beginning. it's important to remember to stay grounded, move forward slowly but with purpose, and that there is much potential for growth.
tarot is a seed that i'm just now planting, but as i continue to nurture my practice and deepen my understanding, both will grow.
5. how can i be open to learning & developing on this journey?
mother of pentacles. patient & loving, supportive, secure, confident, fortunate, strong. this card relates strongly to helping & sharing with others, and is the card that encouraged me to launch this blog and begin seeking a community of fellow readers to grow with.
i need to remain mindful, seek patience, share knowledge, move forward, enjoy the resources i have, and continually strive to find new ones. this mother is nurturing and grounded, and i should be too. by reaching out to those that are more experienced, as well as trying to be more open with my own journey, i think my practice will deepen and my understanding of the cards will continue to grow.
6. what is the potential outcome of this journey?
justice. i'm not afraid to admit that this card, in this position, has me a bit stumped. making decisions? discerning right from wrong? a major choice? how does this connect with my journey into and through tarot?
perhaps i should be focusing on the ideas of karma, balance, truth being revealed, conscious awareness of decisions. i strive to be fair, honest, truthful - and this card certainly speaks to that. i also can't help but notice the sword prominently featured in the center of this card, which harkens back beautifully to the first two cards in my spread - swords, which represent the element of air, mental clarity, truth, action, change, conflict, power.
as an outcome it's one i'll continue to dwell on, but i like the idea that my work with tarot can provide greater clarity, help me make strong decisions, reveal truths, and maintain balance in my life.